Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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