This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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