My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
