I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
