the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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