did you get engaged???
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
