i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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