Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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