Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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