i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
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He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn victory sex feels great
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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