Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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