I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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