marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
