dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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