i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
