This dress was meant to end up on your floor
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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