trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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