you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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