I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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