they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
