It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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