In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
