Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
