Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
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I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Enjoy the penises
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
false alarm, still single
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