He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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