i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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