Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize