oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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