What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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