Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
