when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
