Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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