I faked an abortion last night.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize