Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize