guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize