she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
