I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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