wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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