We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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