i just google imaged poop.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
