Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
