I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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