That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
