bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
