Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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