Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
