i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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