I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
did i walk over a car last night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
