the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Shame is for Republicans.
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