end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
