I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize