How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Vodka?
Forever.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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