Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
