are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
