I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
