Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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