My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
