Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
