bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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