Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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