I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
