I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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