she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
