: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
