ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
