She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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