It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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